Failure! Yep, Failure.
Today was going to be a 75 mile cycle in total. In the end it was a roughly 30 mile cycle of sheer hell and determination not to be beaten by Crohns.
I've had a massive flare up of Crohns Disease this week, resulting in passing blood on Friday and Saturday. I knew I was going to be weak today but didn't figure on being this weak.
10 miles into the cycle - most of it steadily up-hill - I was barely controlling my breathing. I had already had to stop twice and was feeling the pressure.
Eventually we got to Lochwinnoch - where I stopped and refuelled on a can of coke. Possibly the best drink I have ever had. That helped me keep up and even set the pace for a few miles but soon my muscles were empty. I was spent and there was still another 10 miles to go.
Having to stop every now and then enabled my legs to become recharged. The slow twitch muscles in my legs had absolutely nothing to give so I had to alternate between bouts of sprinting and freewheeling.
Soon we neared Largs and the up-hill sections gave way to an altogether too short (but extremely steep) down-hill section. It was bliss being able to freewheel for more than a few hundred metres. Although my brakes had to be carefully applied as I was actually getting down the hill much faster than the cars in front of me.
Strangely though, theres absolutely no lactic acid build up in my muscles. I think for that to happen your muscles have to burn glycogen in bigger quantities than was present in my legs today.
I know 30 miles or there abouts is still an achievement (specially when you consider the only food I had between saturday at 11am and sunday at 11am was a fried breakfast) but I can't help feeling like I've let the team down, more importantly I feel like I am beat.
I'll have a hard time to get over this before the cycle next week - I absolutely have to complete a cycle again before Thursday and do it faster and better than before to help get over it. I have been beaten once, not again!
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