Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Life in the Pedestrian Lane

The places I've been working people zoom by on bikes all day. I hate them. Showing off that they are on their bike while I am being a pedestrian and being forced to walk everywhere.

The past few days I've been doing two workouts a day, one in the morning and one at night. The morning workout is great but only when you've had enough to eat beforehand. Exercising in the morning with your stomach trying to turn itself inside out is not good.

So what do I do to exercise? I start of with a few stretches (I say stretches but its barely even straightening my legs as the tendons have shortened so dramatically over the past few years) to make sure I am not going to make anything go twang..

Next it's working on range of movement; now be patient because I can only describe the exercise as I've long since forgotten the names.

Chest extension, stand with your legs about shoulder-width apart and on the balls of your feet and arms out straight from your sides so you resemble a stick man then try two small backward stretches and the third one push hard as if you are trying to touch the hands together - all the time keeping your arms straight. Do three sets of 10. You'll notice each time you do it you can get your arms a bit further back.

Arm rotations. Start with your arms out straight again and rotate them in small circles to ensure that your shoulders are freeing up OK, once they are, increase the diameter of the circles. Your aim is to ensure that you can rotate your arms fully without having to lower the arc. Do this for a minute or two until you feel the rotation getting easier.

Hip flexes. Stand with your hands on your hips (sorta like the Green Giant - don't be tempted to say Ho Ho Ho though cos its not clever) and slowly rotate your hips in a wide circle. Keep your feet in one place. This should help your lower back un-stiffen and if like me helps relieve arthritic pain in the lower back. You don't need to do too many of these, 2 sets of 10 in each direction should help.

Back extensions. Its a bit of a misnomer as you are actually contracting your back but hey...who am I to argue? lie on the floor on your face arms out straight (if it helps you can have the superman soundtrack playing). slowly raise your arms, head and shoulders, as much of your chest as you can and your legs off the ground as if you were parachuting. Hold it for a count of five (a friend should be able to rock you on your stomach if you are doing it right). I normally do only 10 of these as it can feel like I'm about to split in half if I do any more.

Finally. I'm ready to do some actual exercise.

Press ups. I do two sets of 20 of two types, one with the arms tight by my side. This works your triceps and not much else. Then spread the arms a bit wider and you will start to feel the burn in the chest and shoulders more. You HAVE to do both types unless you want to end up looking very strange indeed.

Crunches. I don't like the old fashioned crunches (sit ups) instead I do two which work harder and better but involve a smaller range of motion. Short crunches. Sit with your back about 30 degrees from the floor, and slowly raise your body so that it is now 60 degrees from the floor, hold it and then release down to 30 degrees again. Keep your back straight. Its a lot harder than you think and will work your stomach a lot more.

Next keeping your body about 30 degrees, lift your feet off the ground slightly, now, when you raise your body bring your legs up to meet your body (watch out you don't break your nose on your own knees here). I normally do 3 sets of 20 of each crunch.

finally for those masochists amongst you, you can try the leg raises, these are especially hard on your own as you wont have any leverage in the arms. Lie with your back on the floor, arms along the floor and over your head, slowly raise your legs (keep them straight) up to about 45 degrees and then coming back down stop so your feet are about 4 inches off the ground. That's 1 rep. Do 20. If you can still do more do another set. If you can do another set after that you aren't doing them right.

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